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We’ve updated our Terms of Use. You can review the changes here.
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  • Record/Vinyl + Digital Album

    Black vinyl, ltd to 300. Includes download

    Includes unlimited streaming of The Court's Closed on Christmas via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality download in MP3, FLAC and more.
    ships out within 3 days

      $10 USD or more 

     

  • Compact Disc (CD) + Digital Album

    12 track CD, contains the 6 tracks on "The Court's Closed on Christmas" plus the debut "Eradicator" EP

    Includes unlimited streaming of The Court's Closed on Christmas via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality download in MP3, FLAC and more.
    ships out within 3 days

      $7 USD or more 

     

  • Streaming + Download

    Includes unlimited streaming via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality download in MP3, FLAC and more.
    Purchasable with gift card

      $1 USD  or more

     

lyrics

Listen up you pussheads 
Here’s what’s up 
We’re gonna integrate two very important things 
and those are intelligence and squash
 
In squash 
You must win the match 
Which one cannot do if between me and the ladder it’s a fact 
 
Most squashies are quick 
React the drop of the hat 
But you cannot defeat me 
Because your shit’s so whack 
 
What do you do when you’re not 1500 pounds?  You play squash 
 
Try the backhand, try the serve, there’s no getting through 
I told you ten times you cannot beat me, dude 
I won’t get tired, cuz I’ll just lie on my side 
And you still try to beat me but my game is too fine 
 
You’ll record the match and you’ll watch on the tele 
Blown away by my game and your legs are just jelly 
Me and my queen, we’ll be the new sensation 
The PSA won’t let me play and that’s discrimination! 
 
What do you do when you’re not 1500 pounds?  You play squash (you can’t beat me in England) 
 
Hey man do you know what’s up? 
The game could’ve used me in the Grandfather Cup 
And I don’t care if my mask ruins the sport of the game 
Cuz I’m winning, yeah I’m winning 
 
What do you do when you’re not 1500 pounds?  You play squash  
 
And we dance 
Like a wave in the ocean 
Pounds
And we live and we love

You play squash
Squash

credits

from The Court's Closed on Christmas, released October 15, 2018
Based on the track “Goalie” by Atom And His Package.
Used with permission. Seriously, Atom said it was cool.

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The Eradicator Tampa, Florida

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